TURN ON THE OVEN TO BROIL AT 450 DEGREES (F) WHILE HOWLING VICIOUS COMPLIMENTS TO THE MOON.
LINE A LIPPED COOKING SHEET WITH ALUMINUM FOIL, BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT DELICIOUS JUICES DRIBBLING ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE, AND MAKING THE OVEN TAKE A SHIT IN PROTEST.
DRIZZLE A TINY BIT OF OIL ONTO THE FOIL - I RECOMMEND CANOLA OIL, BUT VEGGIE OIL OR EVEN BUTTER IS OKAY. THIS IS JUST SO THE STEAKS ABSOLUTELY DON’T STICK TO THE FOIL.
SLAP YOUR GLORIOUS STEAK(S) ONTO THE FOILED COOKING SHEET. FIST BUMP YOUR PET PLATYPUS BEAR IN TRIUMPH.
TAKE ABOUT A TEASPOON PER STEAK OF MINCED GARLIC, AND RUB IT SENSUALLY INTO THE COWFLESH.
NOW SPLASH SOME WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE ON TOP OF THOSE MAJESTIC STEAKS. I DON’T FUCKING CARE HOW MUCH - ENOUGH TO WET IT DOWN, NOT TOO MUCH THAT IT WASHES OFF ALL THE GARLIC. CHRIST ON A CRACKER, USE PERSONAL JUDGEMENT HERE.
SPRINKLE A LITTLE BIT OF GARLIC POWDER ON THAT BAD BOY, AND IT’S TIME TO PARTY ROCK!
SLIDE THOSE PUPPIES INTO THE OVEN - THEIR RACK SHOULD BE ABOUT 6-8 INCHES AWAY FROM THE SEARING DEATH-FLAMES OF THE BROILER.
LEAVE THEM IN FOR 5 MINUTES, TAKE THEM OUT, FLIP THEM OVER WITH TONGS (OR CREATIVE APPLICATION OF TWO FORKS), THEN PUT THEM BACK IN FOR ANOTHER 5-10. (LONGER IF YOU WANT IT MORE ‘DONE’)
PERSONALLY, I LIKE MEDIUM-RARE, BECAUSE I THINK THE MEAT-FLAVOR ISN’T OVERWHELMED BY THE SEASONING-FLAVOR AT THAT POINT. BUT HEY, SOME PEOPLE LIKE WELL-DONE!
MAKE ABSO-FUCKING-LUTEY SURE THAT YOU DON’T LEAVE THEM IN TO THE POINT OF BURNING. STEAK IS GODDAMN EXPENSIVE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
IF YOU TAKE THE STEAK OUT WHEN YOU THINK IT’S DONE, AND CUT INTO THE CENTER, IT SHOULD BE A TINY BIT MORE PINK THAN YOU WANT IT - LET IT SIT ON THE PAN (OUT OF THE OVEN) AND THE RESIDUAL HEAT IN THE PAN AND IN THE MEAT WILL CONTINUE TO COOK IT.
SOME MOTHERFUCKERS ALSO LIKE PUTTING BLACK PEPPER AND SALT ON THEIR STEAK BEFORE COOKING.
Easiest skirt in history! You need 42”x42” fabric and enough 1” or 2” elastic to go around your waist.
Fold the fabric in 4 and cut a nice curve. To cut the inside curve, use this chart.
Roll the end of the fabric over your finger and stitch.
Cut the elastic to the width of your waist. Stitch ends together to create a loop. use pins to help line it up with your fabric
Stitch the elastic to the fabric and… you’re already done!
“I made the chocolate noodles by boiling 3/4 of a cup of water and then mixing in two grams of agar powder. I then melted one and a half cups of Hershey’s chocolate and mixed it in with the agar solution along with 1/3 of a cup of chocolate milk to keep it from getting too thick. For the marshmallow noodles I followed the exact same recipe, but swapped out the chocolate milk for regular milk.”
palms sweaty, knees weak, s’mores spaghetti
i thought someone was going to inject Hershey’s into their bloodstream for a minute and i was like hell yeah
Isn’t this like hollowing out a corpse, then putting someone else’s organs inside and cooking them?
i was expecting the other fandom